You often hear self-care advocates talk about living in the present moment. Focus on what’s currently happening in the here and now. We all understand this concept but for some reason, our mind doesn’t always cooperate. Living in the present moment requires you to make a conscious effort to do so. It’s not something that will come naturally if you don’t practice this way of being daily. Is your past holding you back? Are you finding it hard to live the life you want because your past keeps sabotaging your present moment? Don’t worry, everyone deals with this but there is a way to let go of the past and leave it behind for good.
A few weeks ago I talked about acceptance and why you need to learn to accept the things you hate/dislike. Holding on to the bad experiences in your life ruin your present moment and prevent you from seeing new possibilities. Most of us hold onto past experiences and take them with us everywhere we go. Life is all about lessons, but once the lesson has been learned. It’s important to only take that wisdom with you; what you have learned. It’s important to embrace this life experience or person who wrong you with compassion. Accept that there are many things in this life that are beyond your control. Resistance prevents change, let go. Anger brings forth darkness. A clear mind and open heart require openness, love, and acceptance. You cannot truly accept or feel joy in your present moment if you don’t understand this.
Stop Opening The Door
This one applies to people. People from your past have a nice way of showing up when things are going well for you. I am not talking about an old friend or perhaps someone you just lost touch with because you know life. I think it should be pretty clear the type of person from your past I am referring to. You know, the person who treated you like sh**t! A person who didn’t value your time and took advantage of you or betrayed you, this person. Stop letting these individuals back in your life so they can do the same thing to you again. There are special cases where you can forgive certain people for things they have done to you. We all make mistakes. Don’t use the word SPECIAL lightly either. When I think of special cases, I think of people who are worthwhile.
Well, who is worthwhile? You will have to decide what works for you. In my mind, a worthwhile individual is someone who you know has been good to you for the most part. You are not perfect, you will make mistakes as well. Just remember actions, will always speak louder than words when it comes to those seeking forgiveness. It’s okay to let someone back into your life if they make a consorted effort to show you they have changed and value you in their life. I believe in forgiveness. I think it’s the only way to move on from your past. You can also forgive the people who are no longer in your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to let them back in. Sometimes, once the lesson has been learned and your heart and soul has mended. The best thing you can do for yourself is to move on.
Our past isn’t just the distant memories in our mind that linger and haunt us. Our past is also people. Some of these people are great lessons. Great lessons that aren’t meant to be apart of our present moment or future. Your inability to let people go when it’s time is holding you back. You need to accept that your moment in time with this person has come to an end. So let them go. We find it particularly hard to let go of past lovers. We find it hard to break free from relationships that were only supposed to last for just a few seasons. The belief that we can manipulate time as if it will wait for us, fools us into going back and forth.
Stop going back if it’s no longer working. Holding on to a relationship that is no longer working is the same thing as trying to relive your past in the present moment. It will keep you emotionally stuck. I discovered a few years ago the correlation between your personal relationships and life goals. A lot of us treat these things as separate entities. Life has taught me that it’s all connected. Our relationships with people also affect others areas in our life.
Letting Go Of The Past Is A Decision
You will be amazed how quickly your life changes when you recognize that you are attached to your past. Your attachment to the past can become a familiar place of comfort. This is why we often hold onto it so tightly. Letting go will always feel uncomfortable. Once, you make the decision to let go, step into the unknown, this is when you will begin to feel your life finally moving in a new direction. Keep in mind, at first, the changes that take place will be subtle. Even if it’s uncomfortable, just hold on, and settle into the discomfort of having no control.
We all yearn for the future. We work towards it diligently but never greet it with open arms when it arrives. Your future is right now, in the here and now. Right this second, your future moment is happening. What are you doing at this moment? How are you spending this moment? Why are you still thinking about what happened a year ago? Are you still in that relationship that ended far too many times for you to count? Are you still there? Because so much is happening right now and you are missing it.
Just like the past, that you keep holding on to, you will long for this moment tomorrow. You will wish you could have it back and spend the next new moments going backward. Make a conscious decision to break the cycle, this comfortable habit of holding on to what you must let go. When your thoughts start to take you back to a past moment in your life, stop yourself before these feelings associated with this past experience find their way into your present moment.
You have to make a daily decision to live your life as it’s happening. What once was, it’s gone. Once, you have allowed yourself to emotionally heal, stop talking about it (or them). Whenever you catch yourself thinking about it, say to yourself “I am living my best life in the here and now”. Today, is a new day, how do you want to spend it?
