Building a house isn’t easy but it can be done. Building a relationship will have its challenges but with work, they can be overcome. When we build a relationship, we build a house. First, we must think about the foundation, a home inspection if you will. We inspect because it’s important to know if the foundation is strong enough to hold the house, the relationship you desire together. So this is where we start, this step cannot be missed if we desire to build a relationship that can withstand any cracks, leaks, floods or disappointments that are often found when we find our dream home and as we strip away the walls to create what we have always wanted. The question is how badly do you want this house, this relationship? I don’t think any of us ever think about this as we dance in the revelry of falling in love.
Yes, love should be what holds a relationship together but as reality would have it it’s more than that, it’s pure faith that every decision, brick by brick, even the ones we aren’t sure about is driven by faith. Why not love you may ask? Because love draws into question the way we feel about ourselves and this will fluctuate throughout life and as a result this will in turn fluctuate in our relationship. So yes love is part of the foundation but faith is the entire Foundation. We cannot build a house if we don’t believe in our capabilities or have faith in our vision of what it will be and can be. We cannot build a relationship if we don’t have faith during the difficult times when love hangs in the balance because it’s too hard to bear.
As you know when in love there is often a give and pull between you and your lover because we are fearful about becoming undone and revealing ourselves. Parts of ourselves that at times scare us and we haven’t quite fully accepted. This process of unravelling ourselves right before the one we love can be painful. We enter into relationships with layers, the first layer is how we want others to perceive us. This is a tough layer to permeate because it protects us. Particularly if we haven’t spent the time or simply don’t spend any time at all to love ourselves well or love ourselves at all. This is why the lover that you have loved for years can feel like a distant stranger at times. We are dynamic spiritual beings and as we reveal more parts of ourselves when in love, we too discover the unknown within.
So what leads us sticking it out even in the chaos amongst two people who must find love within themselves, extend love to each other and hold that love together piece-by-piece? We will build the house if we believe and we will build the relationship because faith is what will guide us and keep the ground steady even when the earth is shaking.
Building a relationship will require work. There may be tears, moments of frustration, anger and deep contemplation. You may ask yourself why? When we build a house from the ground up, as we pull the dirt away from the earth to create a firm foundation and we lay each brick we don’t question whether or not this will work. We make it work, we plan, we strategize and we change course when necessary because we know once it’s built this will be a home worth living in.
Is your relationship a home worth living in? Is it the home of your dreams? If not it’s time to ask yourself why. Is it time for you to put this house up for sale and move on, or is it time for you to renovate? Whether are you staying or you decide to leave you have to know it will only be unwavering faith, that will help you get through the challenges. It will help you tend to and nourish the love you have between you and your lover.
So you may be thinking how do I build a foundation carried by faith? As cliche as it may sound oh, you have to truly believe that you were worthy of love. You mustn’t settle for anything less than what you are worthy of. And you must give yourself all the love in the world that you need. When we love ourselves, we believe in ourselves and therefore it’s easier to have faith in the unknown. Falling in love is the unknown. We are falling in love with someone else’s story and their Journey. We are falling in love with what we can build together blindly.
It’s hard to build a home, a relationship when one or both individuals does not believe in themselves or love themselves. This sets you up for a shaky foundation. This sets you up to live in a home that doesn’t feel like your own and here you will find great sadness. This will lead to a relationship where reason overrides faith. The more reason the more distance and there you will be two people living in a home that is faithless and loveless. When I say faith I am not simply speaking about religion. I think most people confuse faith with just having a belief in God. Yes God is great, God is glorious. But you are great and you glorious and so the faith within you is what will help you shine throughout life.
The desire to believe when no one else does will carry you through the journey and break through barriers that even you didn’t think was possible. So if you are ready to build that relationship, build your life, build that house, I want you to know that it will not start to take form if you do not have faith in your heart, unwavering faith. Because life will test you, people will test you, you will test yourself. Self-sabotage is everyone’s friend and it can either propel you into greatness, that is if you see it for what it is, or it can lead you to great despair and misery.
A happy home is possible, a happy relationship can be your reality. You just have to be willing to build it faithfully from the ground up.
