Bored Are you?

Why Are You So Bored?

Oh, I am sure you can think of so many reasons as to why you think your life is boring.  Maybe it’s your job, maybe it’s your relationship, maybe you lack motivation and sit around all day hence, the boredom. Whatever the reason, I hope you know that boredom is a luxury. You’re either living a fairly and relatively cozy decent life or you are in jail (where real boredom actually happens). I have never felt sorry for someone who complains to me about their life being boring. It’s one of those things I literally tune out because to be honest if bouts of boredom are the worst thing happening to you, consider yourself pretty lucky. Get over yourself. The fact that you actually have the time and the luxury to recognize boredom should tell you something.

Sure, some of you may be thinking. Well, I find my job boring. Is it that you find your job boring or perhaps it’s not challenging enough? There’s a difference between boredom and feeling as though we are not living our true potential. If the latter is the case, I completely understand. You want more out of life and feel that your current work situation isn’t allowing you to experience growth. You feel don’t challenge and the routine of it all is getting a little boring. What are you doing to change this? If this is at the forefront of your concerns, then perhaps rather than spending the time you have complaining about it, do something about it. Do you need to take a few courses? Acquire news skills? Have a conversation with your boss? Are you doing things at work in order to stand out? Sometimes we think we are stuck. We are scared to ask for what we want. Never be afraid to ask for what you want out of life when it comes to this have no shame. There’s a reason why certain people get what they want out of life, it’s because they don’t sit around thinking about it or talking about it. They work for it, go out and get it and when needed they ask.

If you hate what you are doing, maybe it’s a means to an end. Ask yourself, what’s is my end goal? Where do I see myself a month from now, a year from now? How will I get there? At some point in time, everyone has worked a job either paid or unpaid that they didn’t like. It’s all part of the journey, the experience. Take what you will from this experience, the lesson and let it help you move towards your goals. Take full advantage of every situation you are in. Ask questions. Learn as much as possible. Don’t just simply exist, you are not a robot. Feel your life, live your life. Don’t get swept away by our unfortunate proclivity to complain about what isn’t. Rather focus on what is and why. This downtime, your current state of boredom, this a moment in time for you to get yourself in order. Listen to your intuition. The quiet moments in our lives are valuable. They allow us to see ourselves, take stalk of the lessons we have learned. So we can continue to transform, grow and move forward. Boredom is your greatest companion if you allow it to be. During these lull times, when you are feeling the boredom cast over your life. It’s time to do some internal examination. If it’s really beginning to make you feel as if all is pointless. What’s missing? The answer may not come to you overnight but it will. In the meantime, pick up a book, go for a walk, do something that you enjoy. Another great practice is meditation. Get to the why? More importantly, don’t complain about it. Just be in this moment, feel those feelings so you can uncover what you are missing.


Why is boredom a luxury?

There are people who don’t have the luxury to say they are bored. It’s not even a thought that crosses their mind. They are busy doing the things needed just to have a meal each day. They are busy being busy just so they can have a decent life. They just don’t have the time to contemplate the why’s of boredom. Those who have the time to stew on their boredom over a latté and scroll social media…pretty boring eh?! You’re complaining about a luxury you have been afforded. It’s probably time to pick up a hobby, volunteer or do something for someone else. I grew up in a small town and I now live in the city. I will tell you when I moved to the city, I was surprised that no one did anything. In a city with so much to do, it seemed people were stuck. In a small town, there really isn’t much to do and yet we did so much. Never a dull moment. Each day was another day to live in the moment and see where they day would take us. One would think city life, with all the activities that are available, you would never hear anyone complain about a boring day. In the city, it was the first time I ever heard anyone complain about being bored. It just wasn’t something we did where I grew up. Maybe it’s because we had no other choices available so rather than wait for the day to give us the life we gave life to the day. This is something I have taken with me living in the city. You have to make your own day. You have to embrace the spaces and fill them in with your own magic.


Bored In Relationships Are You?

I have had this conversation with so many people therefore, I thought I needed to include my thoughts on this. You don’t have to agree with me, but this is how I see it. Those who feel that they get bored in relationships perplex me. I wonder, do they think it’s someone else’s responsibility to entertain them? That the role of their companion is to keep their life interesting and exciting? Here’s the thing, when two people come together you both bring what you have to the table, to the house, and to the bedroom. Ask yourself, what are you bringing? In addition, are you with the right person? Are you picking partners who are on the same wavelength as you? Do you have shared beliefs on how you want to live together? Maybe it’s not your partner that’s the issue, maybe it is you. Are you boring?

It’s a cliché I know, but it’s a fact…you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. You have to enjoy your own company. You need to know how to create an exciting life for yourself alone. You are responsible for the joy you bring into your life. You are also responsible for the kinds of people you surround yourself with. Therefore, look for a partner who can add to the excitement you have already created for yourself. Look for a partner who already lives in their own happy and exciting space. Fill your void first. A million partners cannot do this for you. When you come together, in a union, don’t wait for them to be that light, you have to bring your light, your fire, and adventure to the table. Hopefully, they will do the same.

I know people are into all types of relationships. In my opinion, those who desire open relationships are insecure. Just my opinion. There’s something deeper going on that needs to be addressed. Don’t use boredom as an excuse and don’t project these feelings onto your current partner. If you want to play the field be single; I say go for it! I think the best way to explore yourself is when you are unattached. Your desire to have a connection with one person but still be free to do as you please with others shows how scared you are of confronting yourself. On the one hand, your desire that foundation and on another hand, you want the ability to come and go as you please. The idea of letting one partner discover who you really are scares you. Don’t use boredom as your shield. You have decided to give fragments of yourself to others to make a whole without revealing who you really are. This is not boredom, it’s fear. Face what scares you first. People aren’t things you can just pick up and throw here and there whenever it suits you.

If you find your current relationship unfulfilling. It’s time to figure out what it is. Is it you? Perhaps you need some time on your own?  Maybe it’s not the right match? Whatever is missing, it has more to do with you then it does them. You have to take accountability for your life. Relationships can be a very beautiful, dynamic and exciting experience. Just like every other aspect of your life, what you put into it will determine what you get out of it. Once you find the right someone and you are both on the same page when it comes to love and partnership. The sky is the limit on where you can go. Create the life and love you both desire together. When this happens, I believe there won’t be a second to contemplate boredom. Sure things get routine every now and then, but this is life. As long as the spark, along with the desire is still there within you and in your partnership, you can make even the dullest of moments enjoyable.


So Next Time When You’re Bored

Just like you, I have had those moments when I thought man, this is boring. Just like you, I have let those great moments pass me by when I could’ve taken the opportunity to explore the lesson. I have learned to see boredom as a great friend. I know it’s a luxury. Great things have happened during those times when I thought there was no movement. I think great things can happen for you as well. Stagnant times are necessary. We need to slow down and think. We need to slow down so our heart can catch up with our mind. This journey isn’t all about go without a stop. The fireworks don’t have to happen day in and day out and thank goodness they don’t. They wouldn’t wow you anymore if they did. You are living a blessed life if you have moments when you can think and figure out who you are and what your purpose is, cease them. We all have a purpose. Don’t miss the opportunity to live your purpose. When boredom strikes, it’s there to remind you of this.

It’s time for you to do the things that fulfill you. It’s time for you to find bliss even in the simple moments.

Author Description

Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Follow Me on Instagram @thethingsiwishiknew

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