Why you SHOULDN’T travel with your “Ex”

It’s not uncommon to remain friends with an ex. They have been apart of your life for quite some time and you cherish their friendship. Hopefully you broke up on mutual terms because if one person still has hopes to rekindle what once was you are definitely headed for some serious problems. Problems you may learn about when you and your bestie/ ex-boyfriend go vacation together. Up until this point things have been going great between the two of you. In your mind you have found a good friend. This is how things were meant to be; the two of you as JUST good friends. Why not?!

I used this think this scenario was perfectly normal. Not the vacation part but the friendship aspect. I have always been more than okay with maintaining a friendship with an ex. I never saw this as a problem. I know there are a lot of people who do and it took me a while to see what they were talking about. I have to say there is something to be said about cutting ties with the past. Some ex’s just aren’t meant to be friends. You have to do what works for you at the end of the day.

I can hear my mother’s voice as I type this. She doesn’t understand the young kids of today. She doesn’t understand how two people who once dated can remain friends. My explanation to her used to be “things have changed, that’s an old school way of thinking”. I think based on my own experience I am beginning to understand this old school way of thinking. Ugh I hate to say it…okay fine. She is right! You know when they say it’s complicated to remain friends with an ex? Well let me tell you something it is complicated traveling with them… It’s a DISASTER. This is just my opinion to those of you happily un-coupling ex’s who travel together. If it works for you by all means keep doing what you are doing. It’s just something I will not do again. Sorry I am a fast learner now. Not happening.


When I travelled with my ex/bestie/not anything now. I learned how quickly paradise can become a nightmare. The old adage is true: Paradise can become a very ugly place if the company you keep isn’t the best. My company was my ex/bestie/not anything now. I really thought things were good and I was happy to be best friends till the end. I am not sure if it was one too many Pina Coladas in his case but sunny skies turned into grey skies very quickly. You just can’t be sure if feelings are still lingering for one or both parties. It must also be frustrating for the one who is hoping that things may change. The one that hopes that you may one day be more than just friends again. I understand the difference more than ever now. I have male friends but these friendships have been strictly plutonic and this is the way it will always be.

When strong feelings were once involved you can’t just shut them off. For some people this is an easy task while for othes it can be quite difficult. Sure you can meet for a coffee or dinner here and there but going on vacation is a BIG DEAL. The act of packing your luggage and getting on a plane shouldn’t be taken lightly if your travel companion is your former ex now bestie. There is a lot to consider. Move past your excitement of going on vacation. Think about who your travel companion is. Fine you need someone to go with and they were available but ask yourself if it’s worth it?! Ask yourself if you are both on the same page. Seriously! Sit down and have this discussion face to face. It’s something I highly recommend.

Don’t you love life and all the wonderful lessons. I know I will never look at that beautiful island the same way. Life isn’t a fairytale. Well, mine is I am not sure what yours is like! Really on a serous note. You are better off traveling with one of your good friends, a family member, or alone then dealing with the ghost of boyfriends past. If you choose to remain friends keep your encounters close to home. If you choose to ignore my advice please proceed with caution! Happy Un-Coupling!

 

Photo courtesy of: The Things I Wish I Knew 

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Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief

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