Why You Are Missing Opportunities

You Have a Crappy Attitude 

Yes, this is probably the number one reason why you miss a lot of good opportunities in life. Your attitude sucks, simply put. You never see the good in anything unless it directly serves you. You spend a lot of time complaining. You complain way too much about what other people aren’t doing for you. You complain too much about doing the work. You need to do the work to get the reward. Success isn’t for those who think it should be handed to them. It won’t be handed to you, so stop complaining. Stop it. Your pessimistic outlook on just about everything is killing your dreams and preventing you from living the life you say you want. It’s time for you to recognize your role in where you are in life today. Of course, there are things that happen in life that are beyond your control. Unforeseen circumstances are just that, you didn’t see them coming. It’s happened, so what now? It’s all a matter of how you react to it. It’s your attitude. I know everyone has a story, we have all been through it and it’s all relative. My struggles may be quite minuscule compared to yours, or perhaps in the big scheme of things my struggles aren’t that grave once I hear your story. I respect your story. I think you should as well. Just know that the only way to change your story is with a positive mind. Even those in the best of circumstances struggle to understand that their attitude is stopping them from experiencing opportunities that happen every single day.

I know I know, it’s not you, it’s them. I know I Know, you are like this because of ABCDE etc…but guess what? All those people have moved on with their lives and what happens can’t be relived again because it’s in the past. You can’t go back and do things differently nor can you change how someone treated you. Your bitterness is poisoning your outcome – to a good life. The negative words you speak about others or life, in general, will always be the only thing you attract. It’s time to work on you. It’s time to make this a priority. Life will begin to get better for you if you are willing to change.

Life lessons suck sometimes, I get it. Sometimes they can take the best of you and reveal the worst in you. As you let the ugliness reveal itself, learn from it, grow from it, then heal.


You Blame Other People

The decisions you make are your own. It doesn’t matter who gave you the advice and it doesn’t matter who led you to the fountain either. You decided to take it and you decided to drink the water. You must recognize that in the end, you hold the key to all the decisions you make even if you make them for the sake of others. Own this. Many of us, myself included, we waste a lot of time blaming other people for the decisions we make if the outcome isn’t in our favour. In life, you are always rolling a dice and you just never know what’s going to happen or how it’s going to look. Sometimes it’s the best decision you have ever made and other times it’s a disaster. The best guide to your decision making is your gut, your intuition, listen to it carefully. When things don’t go our way, it’s a lesson. A lesson to trust that gut feeling that’s there to guide you throughout your life. In addition, a way to unearth parts of yourself that need to be healed or revealed in order to transform you into the person you have always wanted to be. Continued growth requires lessons, you will never escape this. Just know, it’s never going to be them (the one you are currently blaming), it will always be you.

People may do awful things to you, treat you unfairly. It’s not your fault. Trust me when I say, life will teach them lessons as well. Life teaches us all lessons, some we love and others we just wish would end as soon as they began. Alas, one of the greatest lessons is: don’t let other people shape your destiny. Don’t let other people hold you back from living your purpose. If you do, their lives will move on and yours will stay the same. Is this the life you want? I don’t think so. We have to let go, you have let go. As hard as it may be, wish them well and move forward. Wish them well and thank them for teaching you a lesson in life that will help you make a wiser decision next time. Thank them for teaching you to love yourself, perhaps more than you did before.

Blaming other people and letting it occupy your mind and dominate your conversations is wasted space. Make room for something good in your life, in your heart. The only way to do this is to quit the blame game. Own your sh**t, so it doesn’t own you. Remember, as much as I love to love and give love, recognize that no one owes you anything. You owe yourself everything. The moment you begin to believe this, and truly understand this. No matter what someone else does to you, you won’t spend your life stuck in one place because you feel their actions have left you there. You are not left behind if you don’t want to be. Put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. Hold on to faith and work with your purpose. No one can take this from, please don’t let them.


You Always Feel Sorry For Yourself

Chances are if you are feeling sorry for yourself. There is a part of you that’s still stuck in blaming someone else. You are stuck because of what has happened or what they/someone did. Why me? I think we have all asked this question at some point. Why is this happening to me? I don’t have the answer to this question. I can’t even answer it when it comes to situations I have been through. What I do know is that in this moment, during your lowest moments in life, lessons are happening. Rather than resist them go with them. Don’t feel bad for yourself. It doesn’t do anything for you nor will it make your situation better. The more your struggle with what is, the harder you will fall into a mental prison of despair. I am sure you know, your thoughts can paralyze you. Your thoughts are actually stronger than your actions because even without movement they are felt everywhere. You are energy.

I don’t want to trivialize what has happened to you in life. Nor will I give the person who has slighted you a pat on the back. I get it. You are allowed to have your moment to grieve. There’s a lot of strength in vulnerability. So let the pain make you fall to your knees. Let it out and cry, then get back up. Feel the ache in your heart and don’t bury it inside, never do that. Let is burn so it can heal. Once you do this, I don’t want you to keep living what has happened to you over and over again and continue to bring it into each present moment. Don’t carry it wherever you go, the weight of it wants to be left behind. Don’t let an old narrative play over and over again. You have the Coles notes, only use them as a reference point to prevent yourself from making the same decisions that might have led you there.

You aren’t there anymore. You are here. Be present. Life is challenging. It will always be, even when things are going amazing…it’s funny how that works! If you want to know why certain people thrive and why others don’t? It’s because they understand that feeling sorry for yourself never turns things around. It leaves you right where you are, in the same state, year after year. The only person responsible for this, your decision to cry woe is me day in and day out is you. It’s time to get up and help you help yourself.


You Don’t Get The Concept Of Let Me Help You Help Yourself

This is probably one of the greatest lessons for every human being. From the moment we are born, we have someone there to help us with each step we make. Someone there to guide us through every first. It’s when they hand over the keys and let us drive our own life, this is when we stumble the most. It’s not that they’re not there for us, they are. It’s not that no one cares. Someone cares and someone does indeed love you. The truth is, we will all walk a different path in this life. Many paths will cross but the journey will never be the same or look the same. We can all use a helping hand and I hope you extend your heart and help to others whenever possible. It takes a community to make a life, we all need each.

With all these helping hands available to you. Amazing people here to guide you through life’s many obstacles. You need to understand that you hold the reigns. You need to do what’s needed to get out of difficult situations. Even if the guidance and help is available to you understand that if you aren’t working in tandem, then it truly is all in vain.

The only person who is in control of the change you seek is you. If you aren’t doing the work it doesn’t really matter how many great people you are surrounded by. Don’t give up on yourself. Figure out what needs to be done by YOU and when you do keep doing it. Keeping working on you. Self-improvement will never get old. Every day you wake up new again with wisdom. Each day is a day for you to improve what needs improving. It’s amazing what your life can be when you put in the self-work. When you believe in yourself and have faith that you can make it through dark times and come out on the other side triumphantly.


You Don’t Create Opportunity For Yourself.

When I started The Things I Wish I Knew, I didn’t know what I was doing. It’s something that felt right, something I knew I had to do. Each day I taught myself something new. Each day I teach myself something new. This was and still is an opportunity that I created for myself that has changed my life in so many positive ways. As a result, I am a firm believer in the idea that you create opportunities for yourself. You can create the life you want. It won’t be easy. Thankfully it isn’t always easy. The challenges force you to learn new things. The challenges force you to step outside of your comfort zone. They force you to comfort your weaknesses so you can strengthen them.

If the opportunities don’t exist create them. Everything you see in this life. This Mac Book I am typing this on, it’s an opportunity the someone created for themselves. It’s an idea that became a great reality. This is what your life is. Plant the seeds diligently, tend to the garden and watch it grow.

Author Description

Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Follow Me on Instagram @thethingsiwishiknew

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