The Bachelorettes, You’ve got to be kidding me?!?!

I have been hearing about the new twist on the next season of The Bachelorette, the spinoff version of ABC’s long running show, The Bachelor. To be honest, I haven’t kept up with the show over the years and normally only watch the last few episodes if I get a chance to see it. But, the net is buzzing with both outrage and intrigue. So of course, I wanted know what the fuss is all about and I have decided to tell you what I think.

What do I think about it?

Well, I am all about finding love, love is a beautiful thing. I hope everyone finds their person; their life partner in crime. It’s nice to know that there is someone in this crazy complex world who will be with you as you experience this extraordinary journey called life. So, I guess the end goal of this show isn’t so bad. I just don’t like the method. I think it’s hard enough to meet someone. The idea of putting women up against each other to win the affections of one man doesn’t sit well with me. You’ve got to be kidding me right?! It’s almost like tinder for one, he gets to swipe through the choices while the ladies only have one choice. FYI, if you are into this type of dating roulette I am not judging you. I don’t think it’s something I could do unless I was the one who got to sort through the choices. Ha! Then again, even with all the choices available who has time to date that many people at once? I don’t. I think it’s better to get to know one person at a time. See how that goes and move on if it’s not a good fit for you. You will never get to know someone if you are only getting fragments of them. It takes people a long time to let their guard down and show you who they really are. In the beginning you are spending time with their representative, the person who’s there for the sell. Eventually both of you will have to drop the act and the real person will show up. It takes more than a few weeks for this to happen.

I can’t make a choice about what to eat for dinner half the time (a simple choice). So I can’t even fathom how hard would it be to weigh people up against each other in such a condensed amount of time. Dragging people along who you very well know from day one it’s a NO WAY! It’s all about process of elimination and unfortunately hopeful hearts get broken along the way. Hopeful hearts learn that loving the same man isn’t easy business.

I think it’s hard enough to be a women. It really is. We have to fight to be heard in so many other areas in our lives. It bothers me that shows like this encourage us to slight one another rather than support each other. It’s true. If women hate women we can’t expect men to respect us. They see what we do, what she say about each other and how we treat each other. It doesn’t just start with men, it also starts with us. We are the change we seek and it’s important to support each other in any way that we can. This season of the bachelor showed us this when Britt realized that Carly, who in my opinion is a bit of a mean girl, wasn’t her friend in the end. I don’t blame Carly though, who wants to be friends with the girl who’s kissing their potential husband? Who wants to know the faces of every ex-girlfriend? I think we drive ourselves crazy enough worrying about what men are thinking (probably nothing..I am kidding!). So as much as I didn’t like her behaviour I will excuse her and say that she got lost in her quest for love. Doesn’t everyone know that there is enough love for everyone? Why do we fight for it like it’s the last glass of water? Water consumption, now that’s a serious issue. Winning the heart of one man…not so much.

So when I read that the twist to the next installment of the bachelorette would be two women. Initially, I thought this is great because I think both Britt Nilsson and Kaitlyn Bristowe are great women. Then to my dismay, I read that on the first night 25 men would decide who is the better wife. In other words, Brit and Kaitlyn will be put up against each other again and judged by complete strangers in only a matter of hours. Hence, transferring the power, although temporarily, back to the guy. The better wife? Based on what criteria? This is ridiculous! I am not sure who came up with this idea. What do you think? Have both women won another opportunity at love? Or are they losing? Well someone is going to lose again.

Why can’t they both have a choice? Why can’t they both have a shot at love? With all the men that I am sure will be lining up to date these two women. I think it’s safe to say that there can be two love connections. I think they deserve the choice and they certainly don’t deserve to be treated in such a degrading way. I am not a fan of this. I don’t think I am the only one. It’s a total thumbs down zero star rating over here. Although, we will all watch it so you know the ratings will be quite good…just saying!

In the end, it doesn’t matter what I think. Okay, it does a little 🙂 I am not trying to be negative, it’s just that I felt compelled to talk about this. Women, we don’t have to fight each other for men. We cannot allow a television show to brainwash us to think that this is okay. It’s entertainment and I know some of the couples have worked out. I am truly happy for them. I just think we need to think about what kind of lesson this teaches young impressionable girls. I have never been on the show so I don’t know what kind of bonds are formed between the women. They don’t show that suff. From what I have seen is that it’s an environment where women fight the love battle without remorse and let their worst attributes take centre stage.

My advice to Britt and Kaitlyn is that you need to demand that you get a choice. Not only is it your right; you deserve it. Don’t go on national television to get dumped again on the first night. I can’t say anymore about this. Let’s wait and see it all go down.

Peace & Love


Photo Courtesy of: The Things I Wish I Knew

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Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Follow Me on Instagram @thethingsiwishiknew

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