Sex and the City Myths & Lessons: Have we killed ROMANCE?

“Have we become romance intolerant?” Carrie Bradshaw

Alexandr Petrovski, has entered Carrie’s life, sending her on a romantic whirlwind that her Manolo Blahniks have never walked before. Alexandr is unlike any man Carrie has ever experienced before and she finds herself getting overwhelmed by his gestures of love towards her. You can’t really blame her though, can you? Mr. Big didn’t really set the bar high; nor did Mr. Post It Note Berger. It seems that Carrie’s New York is full of a whole lot of sex and very little love. Lovers are always strangers because they never allow themselves to fall deep in love. The idea of love has been confused with casual dalliances which leave one standing at the edge of love but never in it.

There is a time in your life when you meet someone that opens you up to a place inside that you have never been before. You are filled with feelings of joy and love as a result of having them in your life. You feel the need to show them. You have this strong urge to tell them. But you don’t because you are afraid you may look foolish, you are foolish, foolishly in love with them. Unfortunately, few people want to play the fool in love. Besides, you don’t know how they will act? What if they reject you? Or, it could simply be that you have noticed grand gestures of love no longer exist. Romance is just something for the movies and we can only live vicariously through the characters on the screen. You want to send a note to say ‘I miss you’ and you spend hours thinking about what those three words mean not just to you but to them. It’s hard to believe that anyone wouldn’t feel nothing but gratitude that there is someone out there in the world that misses them. There is someone who is proud to stand beside you, take your hand in a room full of strangers and begin to dance because who cares. We have become so swept away by ‘love cynicism’ that the light of something so good is beginning to burn out. Don’t just love me because I am dying (something often depicted in movies), love me because I am here now with you in this moment and please show me now exactly how you feel in whatever way you feel you can express this. You don’t have to send me flowers unless it’s something you want to do. All I ask is that we as people don’t loose sight of the power and magic of romance.


Charlotte says “We are just starved for real romance.” We don’t know how to receive it because we haven’t allowed ourselves to be open to it. It’s as if we are shocked that there is something so wonderful about us that someone felt inspired to do something vulnerable. In Alexandr’s case, this is the only way he has ever known how to be. He is not afraid to show the one he cares for how he feels. I can’t say this is rare…before you tell me I am wrong because clearly there are people out there in this world who would disagree with Carrie and friends. To them, romance is well and alive. Maybe it’s a North American thing as Carrie states ” this is too much, I am an American”. Then again, who knows if this statement is true either. I don’t know you or whether or not you have experienced romance or if continue to experience it. I myself have been lucky to meet a few men who understood that sweet gestures go a long way. Men who have showed me the beauty of romance and so I do thank them for this. Of course, this goes both ways. As women we can’t always expect what we ourselves do not put out as well. Both men and women are responsible for nurturing and creating romance.

So maybe we can’t say romance is dead. Just, listen to popular music nothing makes the world go round like “Drunk in Love”. Beyonce isn’t afraid to let the world know. So what are you so afraid of? Don’t let the opportunity pass you by you may only get one chance. We should be a lot more open to share our stories of romance that way it’s not something that has only lived in the distant past but something that can will continue to flourish. Let’s not allow romance to die out like the rotary phone. We may not like the sound of the dial tone (what’s that you say??!!) but we will sure miss the sounds of our beating hearts when we are swept off our feet all in the name of love.

P.S. Carrie is wearing an Oscar de la Renta gown Alexandr gifted her. Swoon!!

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Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief

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