Sex and the City Myths & Lessons: Secret Lovers

In this episode Carrie bumps into her friend Mike on a date with his new girlfriend. During this encounter Mike doesn’t introduce Carrie to his girlfriend. When Carrie confronts him later, Mike tells her that as much as he likes this girl he doesn’t see himself with her in the long run. According to Mike, she is a great girl but simply not that attractive and doesn’t fit the ideal of what a guy like him should end up with. Unbeknownst to this girl, she is Mike’s dirty little secret. Okay, I am little annoyed recapping this episode. I know I know this is just TV and it’s not real but I wanted to reach out and hug her. It’s not like Mike is a prize anyway. It’s not right to treat people like they don’t matter.

This brings me back to a story a friend of mine told me a few years ago (it’s not me, it’s really a friend’s experience) about a guy that she dated who treated her like his dirty little secret. I remember hearing this story and thinking this is disgusting behaviour. It’s just gross! Proper introductions…it’s just basic behaviour; it’s that simple. You don’t have to get into the details. In fact, you don’t have to preface their name with a title either. A simple first name introduction will do. Now, if you are dating someone you are ashamed of in my opinion I think you are the shameful one. They should be ashamed to sit with you and you are lucky to have someone who likes your shallow ass. There isn’t a nice way to put this, I refuse to sugarcoat terrible behaviour and this applies to both men and women; it applies to all human beings.

Looks aren’t everything and looks do fade. If what attracted you to the person you are with was not their exterior but how they made you feel and the connection you share. You shouldn’t be ashamed to tell the world that you have found happiness with someone special. If you surround yourself with the type of people who judge you based on the way your life appears on the outside you should reconsider your circle of friends. At the end of the day it’s about digging deep and building deep connections in love, in friendship and in life. So please don’t be that person. Can you do that?! No one should be treated as if they don’t matter and if you truly feel this way about who you are with let them go. Let them find someone who will be proud to have them by their side. Nobody wants to be your dirty little secret.


Photo Courtesy of: giphy.com

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Hanifa Sekandi

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