Sex and the City Myths & Lessons: How Dangerous Is an Open Heart?

I understand that everyone needs to protect themselves, particularly their hearts. You have learned from your past experiences that not all is fair in the love game. The love battlefield can make you feel like a champion on one hand and on the other hand it can make you feel defeated. Although the wounds may heal with time the memory and the pain you endured is forever etched in your brain. No one can blame you since you are not the only casualty of love; guarding your heart with the best steel. You have decided that this is the best way to live. Why would anyone want to feel like that again? You put yourself out their once and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to. Now you think the best way to protect yourself from it happening again is to close yourself off. It’s better to keep some distance and not allow anyone close enough to you because they may hurt you. You refuse to be vulnerable and you refuse to give in. How is this working for you? Really? Are you experiencing the kind of connection you truly long for? Are you needing love but it doesn’t seem to be coming your way? You talk to your friends about how hard it is to meet someone. How hard it is to find a good person who is open and honest. How nobody is loving anymore and things have become too casual. It bothers you but what you fail to realize is that you are contributing to the process of the ‘distant love affair’. Yes, I love you, but please stay over there and please don’t come any closer because you see I need to protect myself.

In this episode Mr. Big tells Carrie he is having open heart surgery. Carrie becomes extremely emotional and realizes how much she cares for Big and the thought of anything happening to him frightens her. Although, Big assures Carrie that this is a routine procedure and he will be fine she can’t stop herself from sobbing. While Carrie is helping Big recuperate after his surgery he asks her what are they doing and that they should just be together. Carrie brushes him off at first but as the night progresses she becomes open to the possibility of her and Big together. The next morning Big returns to his is controlled and distant self as if the things he said to her the night before didn’t happen. Just as Carrie saw an open window of opportunity to jump in and open herself up he closes it quickly. If you are familiar with Mr. Big you will know that he has his own ideas of love. His past experiences have taught him that he isn’t really good at it and as a result, have closed him off. As you watch their relationship unfold you will recognize this. At times you can sympathize with him and other times you have the same disdain Charlotte has towards him. Mr. Big, as sweet and intriguing as he may seem is the ultimate man of steel. Please note, there is no exclusivity to this club both men and women are welcome.

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The problem with this is that how can anyone expect to get what they want in life if they are closed off? If you are open to new things and the endless possibilities they may bring to your life. It is true, that life does have a great way of giving you exactly what you want, but better. We mustn’t treat life lessons like purgatory. Did you learn something? Yes?! Okay so what now? So what? You got a little hurt? But you are on the mend and guess what you are stronger. You are wise enough and know better now. You can recognize the red flags and know when a good situation isn’t all it seems. There is nothing wrong with opening yourself up to a new person.

You will be more than okay because now you can not only make decisions with your heart but you can use your intuition which is also a memory bank of lessons. This will help you on your quest to meet a companion since you can only fully experience something good when you are open. Like atoms do attract one another and if this law of physics is correct you will begin to attract people like yourself. Who have been hurt once before but they are wiser, stronger and smarter and they know that all can indeed be fair in love and war. Once, you put down the armour and raise the white flag you will find peace within yourself. You will find the right person who is ready to meet you where you are and I think this is something worth being open to.

 

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Hanifa Sekandi

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