Love, Ego and Self-discovery with Gillan Brown

As you know, we recently sat down with Gillan Brown, Self Care Teacher. Brown has inspired many people and I am sure some of you are curious as to what led her and many other individuals in her field on to their current path; health and wellness. It’s a lot easier to relate and learn from people when you understand their story and can appreciate their journey.

It’s important for you to get a in-depth look at what motivates individuals like Brown and what led them to where they are. You can make the changes needed to have the best life possible.

It’s not impossible to transform, you’re not unfixable and you are more than worth the effort. Gillian shares a bit of her journey with us. I hope it inspires you to start today, even baby steps are more than enough.

Please read the first part of our interview: Discover A Healthier You 

TTIWIK: Do you think that it’s important to start with you. I always say that you have to fix yourself first before you can even really love someone or recognize good love.

GB: One thousand percent! It’s like you have to put on your own air mask first. It’s the most important work you can ever do in your entire life because it sets you up for different caliber relationships. Because if you are sick of always attracting emotionally unavailable people or the abusive person, then stop take a break for yourself. Really get to the root of why you think it is that you keep getting back in that pattern over and over again. What is the lesson you haven’t learned yet?


TTIWIK: I always say your friendships mirror your relationships. Did you have to change some of those relationships as well, in terms of the kinds of friends you were hanging out with? That comes with also the kind of relationships your in. If your friends aren’t treating you well then chances are you’re going to get into a relationship that mirrors this. So what were some of the changes, in terms of the type of friends or the people your surround yourself with?

GB: There’s been a complete shift through my friend group. This started, I’ve been waking up since I was about 20 years old. I was definitely fighting it for a long time but there’s friends that supported me bring unconscious, supported me being this version of myself where I didn’t even know who I was. Those people have all, every single one of them gone away. They have completely fallen away from my life. Some dramatically, some effortlessly and I think we are who we hang around with. It’s that simple and I think if we want to change, we want to transform, we need to edit our peer group.


TTIWIK: Also, I guess you could say it’s spending time with people who live the lifestyle you desire or with people you want to be like. It’s the aspiration aspect of it.

GB: Of course, as humans we have a natural tendency to want to sync on an energetic level to our environment. Say for instance, if we are in the club scene, if we’re working around that energy, we are going to subconsciously sabotage ourselves. Or do whatever needs to be done, to sync or fit into that environment.


TTIWIK: Did you find that there was a little bit of that self punishment. You go through the different steps of denial, anger and depression. So during your anger phase there’s always a sort of self punishment when you’re making a transition whether it’s leaving a relationship, a job or a friendship. Did you experience a time when you didn’t treat yourself well, because you were transitioning.

GB: One thousand percent, my inner critic was definitely on high alert. I was super overly critical of myself. Especially when it comes to body image or to food or to working-out or just kind of keeping up this invisible standard that I created for myself. It’s something that I think we all go through in some degree. It’s just a matter of realizing that that’s not healthy and that there are ways to tame our inner critic.


TTWIK: So how does that work with being on instagram. How does it work for you because it’s very visual, it’s very much so based on appearance. How do you balance this?

GB: At the peak of my troubled inner state I didn’t even have instagram, this was before that. But you know social media was still a thing then and I remember being so critical, obsessing over the photos that I put up during that time. You know just going over them in such fine detail. Zooming in if I needed to make sure that I am putting out this image of perfection. So yeah, I see that social media can toy with you. I think I said recently in an instagram post that social media, is like taking a magnifine glass to the ego. It just allows that part of us to really spin out of control if we don’t have the strength in other parts of ourselves. So that’s where I think that I am so much more easily able to navigate through that. It’s not even a thing for me anymore because I have strengthened my true self.


TTIWIK: And how do you do that, people are going to ask? That will be a question…what does that mean. I want to do that?! What’s one tool that you use to do that?

GB: A self reflective lifestyle I would say. Just working on tuning your awareness to be reflective. Ideally, we want in the moment awareness. Present moment awareness, so that we can catch ourself before we say something or we do something that’s out of alignment, that’s out of integrity but I think to start the easiest thing to do is journalling. Journalling daily or super super regularly, journalling allows us that opportunity to reflect. To look at our day, and see which events, which encounters didn’t make us feel good and from there we can track it all.

Journalling has been such a transformative practice for me and it’s something that I impart on every single one for my clients. Even though there’s generally a whole lot of resistance to journalling in the very beginning because we don’t want to look and see what’s going on under the hood you know.


TTIWIK: Do you go back and read your old entries. I sometimes go back and say what was I thinking?

GB: Yes, I am pretty OCD with my journaling. I have these journals and I will write in the whole book, fill up every page, even on the corners of the book; it’s completely packed. Before I start a new book I go back and read from the beginning all the way through making notes, it helps me for also helping my clients and creating content. For the average person it’s going to show you the contrast from where you were which is your point A and where you are now which is your point B and the transformation that is happening, even though it may be so subtle that you don’t recognize it on a daily basis. Looking back and seeing where you have been and actually when you read it you are able to connect the links. You’re able to think, wow, I remember how that felt and you’re able to see where you are now and that contrast is enough to be able to sling shot you forward.


Next we discuss Embracing Change with Gillian. Until then, take a look at her site for some great recipes and her insights on how to live a balanced and happy life.

Here is another great read on how to let go of your ego.


Cover Image Courtesy: Gillian Brown

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Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Follow Me on Instagram @thethingsiwishiknew

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