It’s Okay, Not Everyone Is Going To Love Or Like You

Sometimes a girl just wants to kick off her shoes and not care that she had to wear closed toe pumps today because she is in massive need of a pedicure. Sometimes one wants to be unbridled by all the constraints that make you fit in so well in front of others and it’s okay. I am sure you can agree, sometimes life feels like a constant audition. You find yourself weaving in and out of different characters. You find yourself constantly trying to get the approval of others. It’s not easy keeping track of all these different faces, these different roles when on one given day you’ve had to play many.

Eventually, and you will, you must reach a place where you realize that it’s quite okay if you don’t always cut it. Not everyone is going to like you or love you. It’s also so damn exhausting…Isn’t it? You also ask yourself, what for? I can tell you, you need to accept not everyone is going to like you and you aren’t going to like everyone either. You don’t need to go out of your way to make others like you. It’s that simple. Of course, there are many times in life you must rise to the occasion, dress the part. Don’t sabotage that important interview or first impression because you don’t understand what business casual is or general etiquette. During a time like this, I encourage you to study the part and understand your role; this is when it matters…I assume you want the job. I assume you understand the basics of respect and courtesy. I am not encouraging sh**t behaviour. Decency and kindness aren’t difficult tasks; so don’t be a jerk either.

We spend enough of our lives weaving in and out of social circles. Adapting as we navigate through different settings and people we encounter. The most important thing you should remember is that you shouldn’t get lost in the fray of it all. The desire to fit in or be liked mustn’t deplete you emotionally. It mustn’t leave you riddled with anxiety. Why? Because your life is precious. Your time is everything and it’s important not to spend a second trying to fit within the lens of others. Further, where matters of the heart are concerned, if you need to audition to get someone to love you, work for them like it’s a part-time job, it’s probably not the right relationship.  Seriously, yes I know love requires action, just make sure it’s not just at your expense. Some people take advantage of people they know desire their affection. You also have to believe that you are worth loving. That good love doesn’t weigh you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

You know I am right, if you are one of these people, I have been there before. You’re lying to yourself and no matter how successful you may be there is no winning in life if you aren’t happy. If you are evolving into the person you are intended to be. Part of getting there is coming face to face with the truth which is you have to be okay with the fact that not everyone is going to like you or be in love with you. In fact, be happy that this is the case because guess what there will be people who see you, who get you and like the real YOU. It is better to be liked by a select few than large amounts of people who only get to experience fragments of you. At times, inauthentic fragments of you.

You need to strive to be authentic, first and foremost. Get this act together first. This will be the greatest role you will ever play. I would say give yourself an Oscar if you are already with it and doing so. I know a few people like you and they inspire me. Let go of the need to please; to fit in and be loved. The right people, like-minded people, will enter your life. A life that may not be perfect, life would be so boring if everything was perfect. But a life that allows you to sleep a night. I know what anxiety feels like. I have been there. I also know how bad it is for you to try to fit in. Trying to get others to like you and love you. I went to three high schools…you can only imagine. The first two were easy, the third one taught me about judgment and strength. It taught me that there are some not so nice people out there. It taught me how important it is to value those who get you, those who like you just the way you are; flaws and all.

So for those of you, out there. Who feel like you don’t fit in. Don’t give up. Things do fall into place. There is nothing wrong with you. Focus on being the best authentic beautiful being you can be. Don’t forget to spread that love. Trust me, sometimes it’s hard to see this but everyone goes through the same internal struggle; even your biggest critics. Embrace your flaws and find strength. Find acceptance within yourself so when you go out there in the big world and embark on your dreams. You will be okay with the fact that not everyone will like you, that person may not love you or love you the way you deserve to be loved but you like and love you and this is more than okay.



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Hanifa Sekandi

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Follow Me on Instagram @thethingsiwishiknew

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