This is one of the questions my parents always ask me: Are You Happy? We talk about the good stuff that’s happening daily and spend little on the negative. My mom always says “tell me something good”. It’s also something I have noticed a few of my friends who have become moms ask their kids, like Anna Von Frances, one of our contributors asks her baby every morning… Luna are you happy? Most parents always say this to their children “if you’re happy I am happy”. I started to think about the impact of this in our daily lives. If we started to focus on the happy moments each day rather than the cloudy moments. If we approached our conversations with the good, even if it’s something small, rather than the bad, what kind of impact would this have on our overall state of mind?
Of course, life isn’t always roses. We will all have bad days but even during the worst day, can you find a sunny moment? Can you find that small moment that was good? We tend to magnify the negatives in life and put them on the highest pedestal and minimize the good. We meet with friends and for some reason, our conversations are filled with all of the things and people who are making our life so miserable. We discuss how terrible this is or how terrible that is. We are so comfortable with complaining all the time and we shouldn’t be. We forget to mention the new class we are taking and how much we love it. We forget to mention that business is going well or that we met someone new or we are healthy and well. We remember to mention everything bad, you hate your hair do you? and forget to mention everything that’s good… you made yourself the best breakfast this morning?, not good enough to share. There are so many simple good moments in one day that happen and we never talk about them. We have given negative conversation the leading role in our lives not realizing this is a choice. It’s hard to expand the positive moments into more because we look at them as a nice passerby or a supporting actress that’s just there for a boost and nothing more.
Make The Change
We need to flip the roles and to put the unpleasant moments on a lower pedestal. We need to make whatever that is positive in any given moment shine. It’s true, during challenging times we learn a lot about life, about people and about ourselves. Out of darkness, there is light. So why is it that we tend to run back to the heaviness of darkness as it’s being lifted and shun the good positive feeling when we begin to see the light at the end the tunnel? When we finally accomplish a goal, we focus on what isn’t. We focus on who and what is holding us back. We focus on the other things we don’t like about our lives. Where is the gratitude? What’s getting in your way? What’s preventing you from seeing your life with a little more balance where good and bad, at the very least, tip on the scales evenly? Well, no one is holding you back, other than you, from the desire to embrace the little things and capture moments of happiness every day.
We will all walk a different path in this life. Sometimes those paths will meet. When we come together, yes, of course, I am not encouraging you to bottle up your feelings or not ask for help, let’s try and fill that time when two paths cross with happiness. I just think that in the times when we come together it’s nice to hear the good. It’s nice to know that you saw little threads grass peak through the earth today while walking, a sign that it’s spring. It’s nice to know that this brought you joy. It’s nice to know that the happiness of others truly makes you happy. Guess what? If you are happy, I am happy, I truly am. It’s nice to know that something as simple as a good coffee made by your favourite barista gave you a happy moment. I don’t know what your happy moments will be, I can’t follow you around life but I know you are probably missing many. You are most likely writing more phenomenal lies for the lead act in your life ‘negativity’. Unfortunately, this actor/actress may win but they’re never satisfied.
Why Are We Never Satisfied?
There are so many reasons why we are never satisfied. I was watching a show and this woman hosted an amazing dinner party, everyone loved it, everyone had a good time. She wasn’t satisfied because her guest had too much to drink. I thought to myself…Why did you supply so much alcohol?! Why does it even matter if nothing bad happened and everyone had a good time? I wondered why she couldn’t celebrate that everything went as planned and no one complained. I wonder why she only focused on what she didn’t like rather than the good stuff that was happening. Alas, it’s what we do. Even the happiest moments are somehow not that good because we just can’t get over that one thing that wasn’t so sparkly or didn’t go as planned. So when people ask us how we are or how our trip went, we magnify that one small event, moment or mishap and give it center stage. It wins the day. I am sure at some point in time you have noticed this pattern in yourself and in other people. I am sure it bothers you when you have to listen to it all the time, it definitely bothers me. I try my best not to make the negatives or hiccups in my day the star. I know that the saying “this too shall pass” holds true every day. I also want it to pass. I want the good stuff to stay a little longer; so I hold on to those good moments and share them whenever possible.
It’s good to be practical but there’s a difference between a practical mind that makes good decisions and a negative one. There’s a difference between seeing the worst case scenario because you need to plan versus seeing the worst case scenario because you never expect anything to be good. I am not sure who first passed you the negative pipe and why you keep smoking it. This is a habit you need to quit. You know how powerful your mind is. You know that your thoughts can make you sick. Your thoughts determine the outcome of many moments in this life. Your thoughts are an energetic wave force. You have to decide how you want to use that energy. When you catch yourself going into a negative space…stop. When your mind drifts off to the negative or things you cannot change, even talking about it doesn’t change it. You need to find your happy place. You need to get to that space where happiness lives. Let this energy take you through the day and put you to bed at night. It’s a daily struggle but once you are aware of your role in this way of thinking, you will be able to take control. It will become second nature. You can’t control everything, I know we all wish we could. What we can control is how we see things. Further, we also control how much space we want to give people who have wronged us or terrible events/moments.
Every day isn’t perfect but I know it’s good because I get to do what I love to do; this is my something good no matter what’s going on in my world. Oh, to be honest, in this moment I can think of so many good things.
What about you?
Tell me something… Are you happy? Telling me something good.